Do You Think You Cannot Succeed?

Here Is Why You Keep Failing

Hello and Welcome to this new edition of SoloBOOST News™. I am sincerely delighted to find you here, and to share this element with you, which, I hope, can help you overcome doubt and hesitation. It’s your Self-Perception. This way you see yourself, how you define yourself.

The brain does not know the difference between reality and what it imagines. Everything you think about yourself, he considers to be true.

Example:

Often, I give my students a visualization. I show them how they can “hack” their brain into believing that what I’m going to help them imagine is true. I make them feel, using the five senses, with their eyes closed, the act of picking a lemon under a lemon tree in the heat, in the middle of a field in Sicily, until they bite down with their teeth while piercing this citrus fruit, while feeling its smell and its bitterness.

At that moment, I make them open their eyes and come back to me, then I ask them if they are salivating. In 100% of cases, this technique allows you to live an experience which demonstrates that the brain does not know how to differentiate between what it experiences and what it imagines.

If you see yourself as someone strong, it follows. If you perceive yourself as incapable, it follows too. You can feel failure when a friend doesn't support your project... Or on the contrary, feel pride when you realize that you are holding on despite this rejection.

Why? Because it’s your perception of yourself that changes everything. It can limit you or push you forward.

Your Self-Perception can shape you

You may have already felt this feeling of being invisible. Not just alone in your bubble, but as if the majority of your efforts went unnoticed.

You look at yourself and say to yourself “I don’t really matter”. As if you are an extra in your own story.

Every effort, every idea, every step you take seems to lead almost nowhere. You see yourself as someone who is trying, like for example: when you fight to put together this project that could change everything, this vision that keeps you awake at night. However, a part of you wonders if it is achievable, if you will one day be seen as you would like to be seen.

Researchers, like Roy Baumeister in 1991, have shown: feeling ignored or insignificant hurts more than rejection.

How does the brain process information?

Your brain processes everything you experience in a loop. He captures, he codes, and he acts. The problem is that he doesn't know the difference if it's true or not. Each silence, each glance that passes, he absorbs them, transforms them.

Example:

You see yourself invisible even after having worked hard to show your loved ones this ambition.

• The ambition to set up this company that you have imagined so many times.

• The ambition to finally launch this project in real estate.

• This ambition to become this recognized coach, capable of transforming lives.

But their reactions do not live up to your expectations. BOOM. Your brain translates these reactions into: “My project sucks. I'm rubbish. »

When in reality, their reactions have nothing to do with you. Maybe they don't understand. Maybe they're just concerned. But your brain records other information.

This is how we sabotage ourselves without even realizing it. Depending on these treatments, you start to have emotions linked to this: fear, shame, frustration, anger, sadness.

You will feel more and more ignored and you will start to think that:

• finally, you are not you will not be able to set up this company.

• May this real estate project remain just one idea among many others.

• That this recognized coach will never be you.

Daniel Kahneman showed in 2011 that your brain gives more strength to what you expect than to what happens. It amplifies your doubts, not the facts.

And of course, you can learn to see yourself differently if you tend to define yourself through the eyes of others and what they consider normal.

3 Actions to take into account to change your SELF PERCEPTION

Your brain can make you believe that you are invisible, that your ambition, this company, this real estate project, this role as coach are perhaps out of place. scope. However, you can accept that you have the power to change that.

Logically, not all at once, not by force. But with courage. The Courage to look at what your inner voice whispers to you and to turn it differently.

Courage is this flame that lights up deep within you. It pushes you to move forward, even when fear tightens your stomach. It's not just holding on (that's Fortitude).

Courage is daring to take the first step into the unknown. It's choosing to cross the line between what you know and what you want to become. And your Self-Perception will follow this flame. It can pull you back or carry you further.

Courage is born when you see yourself capable of acting, even in the face of fear. - Cynthia Pury (2008)

It all depends on how you light that flame.

Here are 3 Approaches to setting up your Self Perception.

Approach No. 1: Face your thoughts

Take a moment. Catch that fear that pinches you, that shame that burns you. Write down what you repeat to yourself: “I don’t feel enough, not sufficient, not up to the task of this project. It's not made for me. I won't be able to do it."

Put these words on a sheet of paper. Read them out loud. These are just sentences. No walls that lock you in. It shows you that it's not you, it's just a voice.

Courage, here, is facing these words. Don't run away from them. Look them in the eyes. Because when you see them for what they are, they weigh less.

Approach No. 2: Change your Angle of View

In a News story, I remember talking about about the Blind Spot, the Blind Spot. It’s this nuance that you didn’t perceive. This is what you refuse or are incapable of seeing.

Once again: “Our perceptions depend on our angles of view! ».

Those inner voices that tell you that you are too small to do this project, that it's not for you, that you won't succeed, you can change them. You can see them from another angle.

• The “I don’t feel enough, not sufficient, not up to the task for this project”
  can become “I’ll start here”.

• The “it’s not right for me”
  can become “if I can imagine it, it’s because I can certainly achieve it”

• The “I’ll will not happen”
  can become “I have the means to be able to try ”.

Your brain will process these new inputs and will help you act differently.

Peter Gollwitzer, in 1999, found that changing a part of what you tell yourself gives you an impetus to act.

Approach No. 3: Give yourself more Value

Connect to this entrepreneurial ambition that lies dormant in you, this ambition that you feel deep in your heart.

This company, this project, this coaching role that you tried to leave because the others did not approve. And will take it back. And detach yourself from this request for validation. Continue to refine what you started. Go make this call to this contact in the real estate industry, take this step. This Step that you didn't dare to do because you thought that the others might be right.

You don't need their validation, their approval to be able to start. Courage is feeling like you are there, existing, even without their gaze.

Your own perception is not necessarily a hindrance. It can block you or propel you. It all depends on what you expect, what you choose to see, how you see it. She is neither good nor bad. She is what you make of her. You have the power to change it. Allow yourself to do this.

I'm working on a program called Morning Voice, which also talks about this self-perception. More details will come soon. In the meantime, leave a BIG LIKE to encourage me to develop this Weekly News.

With determination,

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